What My Dad Taught Me About “First Follower Leadership”​

My dad is 86. To this day, he continues to be one of my greatest teachers. Just two days ago, our Alma Mater recognised his many years of selfless service by making him the proud recipient of the “2022 Outstanding Paulian Award”. Dad was both surprised and humbled.

Similarly, on his 86th birthday back in April, Badminton World Federation had recognised his significant contributions to the sport of badminton through a two page writeup in its e-zine. Another unsolicited recognition that came out of the blue and brought joy to a man who is enjoying a quiet and well-deserved retirement in the sleepy town of Seremban, Malaysia. Retired, but definitely not forgotten.

The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men, the conviction and the will to carry on. —Walter Lippman 

I was so happy for him knowing he totally deserved it. The recognition also inspired me to think more deeply about his leadership legacy. You see, whilst my Dad has always served with love, commitment and distinction, he was always more comfortable serving in the shadows of another leader.

The banner they flashed up during the recognition award summarises his leadership style – “A quiet, efficient man. A born organiser”. Not the classical charismatic leader who thrives in the limelight. And yet, here he is. Receiving heartfelt appreciation well past the time he contributed.

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. —Lao Tzu

I was equally honoured to be invited to contribute with the write-up about his life and legacy the Old Paulians’ Association were publishing to celebrate the occasion. I share this with you below to both honour my extraordinary dad and with the hope that you will take inspiration from it.

Some of you may feel you do not possess the personality or “gift of the gab” to be a leader. This is especially dedicated to you. Know that the highest level of leadership – defined by Jim Collins as the Level 5 leader – is characterised by those with two seemingly paradoxical traits – humility and will.

The most powerfully transformative executives possess a paradoxical mixture of personal humility and professional will. They are timid and ferocious. Shy and fearless. They are rare—and unstoppable – Jim Collins
 
2022 Outstanding Paulian of the Year – Francis Siow

Francis Siow came to this world on the seventh day of April 1936 in the town of Seremban in the state of Negeri Sembilan, Malaysia. He was the youngest of seven children.

Having lost three of his brothers to illness before his birth, his parents named him “Ah Kiew” (“dog” in the Chinese Hakka dialect) with the hope this would endow him with the resilience of this wonderful creature. Even at the ripe young age of 86, Francis continues to epitomise this – possessing an energy and spirit that most of his juniors would envy.

 

[Fig. 1-1] Dad, Mum and dear friend Mr Kenneth Kulasingham at the Awards ceremony

Growing up in Java Lane, he remembers a simple yet happy childhood. This in spite of the experience of living through the Japanese occupation of Malaya during the Second World War. His mother was instrumental in shaping Francis’ principles and values. She instilled in him the virtues of  Roman Catholic stoicism – a strong work ethic driven by the intent to serve – and the love of family, principles that would further be reinforced through his Paulian schooling and teaching years.

Francis started his Paulian journey in Primary One in June 1945 after the Second World War and completed his Cambridge School Certificate (the equivalent of what was subsequently known as the “O”-Levels) in November 1953. A highly engaged student, he contributed as a Prefect and represented the school in both football and hockey. In the 1953 edition of the “Paulian Magazine”, Frank, as he was popularly known in school, was recognised as one of the “Leaders of the  Year” for his contribution as President of the A.D.C. The writeup recognises him thus – “A quiet, efficient man, a born organizer who threw himself into every aspect of his work… the success of which can be attributed to him and his ‘live-wire’ council.”

Unlike others who stress and deliberate for ages about choosing the right profession after school, Francis’ decision to become a teacher was a simple one. On his last day at school, his then Headmaster, Rev. Brother Casimir approached him and asked if he would like to be a teacher. His immediate response – “Sure, why not?” It just seemed to be a natural progression for him and the best way of expressing gratitude to his wonderful teachers and the blessing of the Paulian education and ethos. The kind principal gave him RM$50 to buy himself two pairs of long whites, shirts and a pair of black shoes and that’s how his career started.

He exemplified the Paulian motto “Virtute et Labore” (virtue through labor) to what some might say,  the extreme. Three months into his tenure as a “teacher on trainer-wheels”, Brother Casimir asked him why he hadn’t collected his pay checks from the staff office. His innocent response – “I get paid???” This from a man who to that date had never had a nickel in his pocket nor felt the need for one. That’s how a distinguished 34-year teaching career, founded on gratitude – started – one that spanned from 1954 to 1988, eighteen of them at his alma mater.

It was a career that was both full and fulfilling both in and out of school. In the classroom, he taught English and Mathematics and served as a PE and Sports Master. From 1960-1971, he served as the School’s Sports Secretary, coaching in badminton, football and athletics.

Even with the significant commitment that comes with bringing up four sons, who he aspired to send through overseas education in Australia, his devotion to a life of service extended well beyond his family and the school boundaries. And beyond his retirement as a teacher. He served the Visitation Church of Seremban in various Religious and Charity related organisations over a period of 45 years and was the Jaycees International National Secretary-General in 1976. His selfless service to the Old Paulian’s association, school and community was recognised in 2002 when he was given the award of “La Sallian of the Year”. The number on his OPA Life Membership badge reads “00012”. Inspired by life events, Francis elevated awareness of Mental Health and provided empowerment and support to carers through service as the Founding President of CARENS (Negeri Sembilan Mental Health Carers’ Association) in 2005.

 
 

[Fig. 1-2] Dad receiving “20002 La Sallian of the Year award”

He was passionate about the sport of badminton and served the fraternity with distinction for 64 years from 1957 to 2021. In 1983, he became Malaysia’s first Badminton World Federation (BWF) Certificated Umpire. In August 2001, the Asian Badminton Championship published an article in its “ABC in Perspective” magazine titled “Asia Salutes A Technical Giant” to recognise his service as one of the game’s most highly respected technical officials. On his 86th Birthday in 2022, the BWF fraternity sent him a surprise birthday greeting in the form of a write-up in their magazine titled “Francis Siow: A Lifetime in Badminton”. In it, Torsten Berg, Chairman of the BWF Court Officials Committee writes “Francis Siow was a top-class BWF Certificated Umpire, a BWF Certificated Referee, BWF and Badminton Asia Assessor and  Course Conductor, but first and foremost, he was by nature a teacher and mentor. More than a generation of Asian Technical Officials was trained by Francis and owe their career partly to him.”

Throughout the many decades in the game, this humble man, driven purely by the love of the sport, service and friendship circumvented the globe many times over, officiating, teaching, assessing or coaching at tournaments ranging from two-star championships to the Thomas, Uber and Sudirman Cups, the Olympics, World series and six-star events. His commitment to helping youth optimise their potential led him to continue coaching for another 29 years at St Paul’s even after retiring as a teacher.

Francis’ list of achievements and awards are too long to spell out here and knowing the man, he would not want us to dwell on these today. The irony is that he never served for the recognition but simply because he thought that that was what we were brought to this world to do. His motto is simple “Do what you love and find joy through what you do”.  In the course of that, his most cherished blessings of his journey would be the more than 62-year adventure he’s had with his bride, Rose (the silent hero who remains a constant source of love, support and encouragement for him through this journey), his four sons and nine grandchildren all who reside in Sydney, and the many friendships he continues to cultivate  across the globe and lives he’s touched and learned with.

 
[Fig 1-3] My dad with the silent hero in his life – Mum – and his 9 grandchildren

He is, however, grateful and humbled by being recognised today, as Outstanding Paulian of the Year 2022. His life is a reminder to all of us that simply by doing “what seems right, not what’s easy” with integrity, passion and commitment, what we weave into the lives of others is what’s most meaningful and permanent.

Do what you love and find joy through what you do – Francis Siow

Andrew Davey

Andrew is a Master Trainer and Executive Coach known for helping organisations shift from transactional leadership to emotionally intelligent cultures. A Tony Robbins Mastery graduate, Certified Life Coach, and MBA holder, he empowers leaders to unlock clarity, resilience, and purpose.

Dominic Siow

Co-founder and EQ Alchemist at EQ Strategist, Dom has inspired leaders and transformed cultures across 260+ organisations in 10 countries. He is the author of the Amazon best-seller *What’s GREAT About This?* and host of the *Inspiring Leadership* podcast.

Sue Siow

Co-founder and Director of EQ Strategist, Sue is known for her calm presence, strategic clarity, and deep empathy. With a background in information systems and advanced leadership training, she has supported leadership journeys for global clients across Asia-Pacific.

Caroline Crosbie

Caroline is a sought-after trainer and psychologist based in Perth, delivering experiential leadership and wellbeing programs. With expertise in resilience, work-life integration, and communication, she helps leaders sustain performance while leading with care, clarity, and balance.

Vivien Ong

Vivien is a seasoned facilitator and coach with 20+ years of corporate leadership experience. She specialises in mindful leadership, communication, and team dynamics, creating vibrant, high-trust learning environments where individuals step into leadership with clarity and voice.

Dale White

Dale is a high-impact leadership and performance coach with 19+ years of experience across government, corporate, and education. Known for his energy and practical insight, he helps leaders align strengths with strategy to drive sustainable, high-performance outcomes.

Vivien Ong

Vivien Ong is a seasoned leadership facilitator, coach, and trainer known for helping professionals grow into self-aware, courageous and impactful leaders. With over 20 years of corporate experience in sectors such as banking, telecommunications, BPO, and media,

Vivien brings a strategic yet deeply human lens to leadership development. At EQ Strategist, she facilitates programmes in mindful leadership, communication, psychological safety and team dynamics. Celebrated for her vibrant facilitation style, she combines energy, empathy, and practical insight to spark meaningful dialogue where learning and growth happen. She also mentors youth through a social enterprise and serves in the leadership team at the

Contact Centre Association of Singapore, where she advocates for better leadership and service standards. Her work is rooted in the belief that better leadership builds a better world. Through storytelling, behavioural tools, and reflective practice, she helps individuals step into leadership with presence, clarity, and voice. Vivien’s clients value her ability to create high-trust environments where people feel seen, heard, and empowered to lead from within.

Caroline Crosbie

Caroline is a sought-after trainer and psychologist who brings warmth, depth, and structure to leadership and wellbeing programmes. At EQ Strategist, she delivers experiential learning focused on resilience, work-life integration, and effective communication. Her academic background includes a Master of Clinical Psychology and certifications in Extended DISC, NLP, and EFT. Caroline’s clients appreciate her thoughtful approach to coaching and her ability to simplify complex psychological principles into actionable steps. With professional experience in five countries, she brings a culturally attuned perspective to her facilitation. Her goal is to help individuals and teams sustain performance without burning out—leading with insight, care, and clarity.

Dale White

“Real transformation doesn’t come from more information—it comes from aligned action.”

Dale White is a high-impact, outcome-focused leadership and performance coach, known for his energy, strategy and ability to drive real change. With 19+ years of experience helping professionals perform at their highest potential & a background in business, behavioural psychology, and high-performance coaching, Dale supports leaders to build clarity, confidence, and resilience in both work and life. At EQ Strategist, Dale facilitates training & coaching that blend behavioural insight, personal mastery, and practical implementation. His sessions are known for being dynamic, personalised, and results-focused – ensuring participants take real-world action that sticks. Dale holds degrees in Business and Exercise Science, and certifications in NLP, PCM, and Robbins Leadership Mastery. Whether supporting government departments, corporate leaders, guiding frontline teams or values-driven founders, Dale’s mission is to help people cut through theory and lead with purpose.

Jack Rankin

Jack Rankin is a high-impact trainer, executive coach, and culture catalyst with over 1,500 workshops delivered globally. His client portfolio includes leading names across government, finance, insurance, construction, and retail. At EQ Strategist, Jack helps organisations strengthen leadership capability, stakeholder alignment, and communication excellence. He is known for making learning engaging and actionable—tailoring each session to drive meaningful outcomes. His past clients include Singapore Airlines, Rio Tinto, Visa Westfield, Nike, Schneider Electric, and City of Parramatta Council. Jack is a Tony Robbins Leadership Mastery graduate and serves on the Synergistic Results Leadership team. Through each programme, he inspires individuals to elevate how they speak, lead, and influence.

Sue Siow

With a heart for people and a sharp strategic lens, Sue Siow co-founded EQ Strategist to help individuals and organisations flourish from the inside out. As Operations Director, she ensures the seamless delivery of high-impact programs while supporting clients with insight, empathy, and practical wisdom.

In addition to leading operations and client experience, Sue is also a skilled Facilitator and Participant Coach—contributing to larger workshops through 1-on-1 coaching, small group facilitation, and experiential team-building segments. Her calm, grounding presence invites reflection, trust, and personal growth.

With a background in Information Systems and advanced training from Tony Robbins’ Mastery University, Sue has supported programs across Singapore, Australia, Malaysia, China, and Indonesia for clients including Sembcorp, Esker, DBS Bank, Changi Airport Group, FedEx, Yokogawa, and AirAsia.

Dominic Siow

“Be the light or the mirror that reflects it.”

These words define Dominic Siow’s approach to life and leadership. As a globally recognised leadership facilitator, keynote speaker, coach, and co-founder of EQ Strategist, Dom is known for helping people reconnect with their purpose, lead with heart, and create cultures where everyone can thrive.

Drawing on senior leadership experience from IBM and Grapevine Technologies, he has spent the past two decades empowering over 260 organisations across 10 countries—from multinational corporations to public sector agencies and values-driven startups.

Dom’s facilitation style is equal parts insight, empathy, and inspiration. Whether leading a leadership retreat, designing a culture transformation program, or coaching executives through complexity, he helps people become not just better leaders, but better human beings.

He is the author of the Amazon bestselling book What’s GREAT About This?—a guide to building resilience through disruption—and the host of the Inspiring Leadership Podcast, where he shares real stories of growth and grit.

For Dom, leadership is not about titles. It’s about helping others find their light—and reflecting it back so they can shine.

Andrew Davey

At EQ Strategist, Andrew Davey is known for helping organisations move from transactional leadership to purposeful, emotionally intelligent cultures. As a master trainer and trusted coach, he brings a rare blend of business insight, coaching expertise, and facilitation mastery. Andrew’s clients span industries from logistics and software to government and education. He is a Tony Robbins Mastery University graduate, a Certified Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and MBA holder. His mission is to empower leaders to unlock clarity, strengthen resilience, and lead inspired teams that drive results. Andrew delivers programs that are practical, energising, and deeply human—enabling sustained transformation at both the individual and organisational level.